How to Beat A Narcissist Without Causing Intentional Pain
Actually, “narcissism”, in the sense of psychoanalysis, first of all, describes the ability of a person to develop human relationships. In the clinical sense or definition of narcissistic personality disorder, however, this signifies the exact opposite.
Since I had the “pleasure” of surviving a narcissistic relationship, I’d like to share a few helpful tips on how to beat a narcissist with you. Let’s begin with learning to understand what a narcissist really is.
Narcissists are people who are characterized by excessive self-centeredness and, on the other hand, extremely high sensitivity to criticism, insults and lack of empathy.
Characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder: grandiosity and easy debility
Due to an externally seemingly “magnificent” self-image with fantasies of omnipotence or admiration of others, people with a narcissistic personality disorder rarely allow other opinions or criticism.
Narcissists Often Suffer From Insecurities
Behind this face, however, is often a very uncertain personality picture, leading to the point that narcissists often feel extremely inferior or depressed.
This is exactly the part where I, personally, begin to feel sorry for them. I know, most people detest narcissists and cannot find any excuse for their behavior. I’m an empath, however, thus, I already dealt with plenty of narcissistic people.
Narcissists thrive on empaths, simply because there’s so much valuable energy to draw from us. And, trust me, they did suck me dry for the longest time in the past. That was until I figured how to turn the table WITHOUT hurting them.
Below I will show you 14 Tips how to whether get out of a narcissistic relationship of any type, or to control them, instead of vice versa.
The true victims in a narcissistic tie are, in fact, their relatives, friends and even work colleagues.
Am I Dealing With A Narcissist?
If you’re not certain if you are surrounded by a narcissist, then, please, read on. If someone around you exhibits at least 5 of the below characteristics, then you can get ready for a battle against narcissism. Narcissists simply love to blow smoke whenever possible.
Consistent behavior and thoughts of grandeur (also in their own imagination), search and need for admiration and recognition, lack of empathy with other people.
These are the most common traits, but do also pay attention to the following where at least 5 criteria should be met:
1- Excessive self-esteem with exaggeration of one’s own abilities and talents. Expected to be noticed as “something special.”
2- Deals with fantasies of boundless success, beauty, ideals.
3- Believes to be unique and special and. Thus, the narcissist only seeks contact with very special people of higher status or title (for example, solely persons with doctoral degrees).
4- Constant demands for admiration.
5- Extremely high expectations for preferential treatment or immediate approval and settlement of own claims.
6- Makes use of interpersonal relationships.
7- Cannot empathize and realize how others feel or what needs they have.
8- Is jealous of others or believes that others are on him.
9- Takes an arrogant stance and attitude.
You Can Win This Charade!
Stop being played! It took a while for you to figure out the narcissist in the crowd. Now, however, you can learn how to beat a narcissist in his own game.
Sometimes we only notice the true colors of another person when we are too deeply involved. Often enough, these narcissists can be people we love, such as a close friend or a partner.
But you finally realized that this person is what they always were: a narcissist! And now you want to know how to beat a narcissist with his own weapons.
Before we even get to the point where you’ve defeated them, because you’re going to do just that, let’s just recall briefly what a narcissist really is.
I’m not saying that you do not know what it is, but this word is thrown around so often that the definition sometimes blurs.
How To Beat A Narcissist?
A narcissist is someone who suffers from a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). But, what exactly does that mean? Basically, a narcissist is someone with an excessive interest in themselves.
In other words, they love themselves a lot, much more than they care about the rest of the world. Narcissists are callous towards their lover, best friend, or literally anyone else in the world unless they get some kind of attention from them.
Frankly, the definition comes from Greek mythology, where Narcissus fell in love with his own image in the reflection of the water. Do you get now what I mean?
A narcissist shows a greatly inflated sense of self-worth, and he harbors bloated feelings for himself. They must be fed with admiration from others, otherwise, they are not satisfied.
That does not sound like someone you want to hang out with, so let’s start with the possibilities to beat them in their own game.
14 Tips To Turn The Table Around
# 1 You cannot make a difference! That’s the first thing you have to do, recognize and fully accept. If you try to change a narcissist, you are wasting your time. First of all, you are not a therapist. Second, this person does not want to be altered.
They are in love with themselves. Have you ever tried to convince your friend that the person he is in love with is not good for them? Yes, exactly, it is impossible.
# 2 Learn the characteristics. You need to know the characteristics of a narcissist well enough to identify them in the person you want to beat. Now everyone, including narcissists, is different.
Therefore, they release properties which vary from each other. Typically, the narcissists lack empathy, they use fear to control others, can not confess mistakes, show negative reactions to criticism, and exploit others.
# 3 Do not betray your feelings. Narcissists feed on the information of others. They use information about you to enter your mind, create fear and manipulate you.
So, before you open your heart, invest your feelings and reveal all your deepest, darkest secrets, heat my warning! The only thing narcissists do is to collect information about you and find ways to exploit it for personal gain.
# 4 Get rid of them. As much as you do not want to admit it, you’re attached to them. It’s not something to blame yourself for. They are very charming people, thus, it’s easy to fall for them.
But now accept that you are bound to a narcissist and detach yourself from him. Use emotional distance to stop the manipulation of a narcissist.
This step is usually difficult, but keep in mind that things will only get more hurtful the longer you’re involved.
# 5 Cut off contact. It will not be easy. They will keep you within their reach as long as they need you. So, if you cut off the contact before they have used you completely, they try every trick in the book to make you stay.
Nonetheless, cease all connections! It’s that simple. Cut off all ties. Remove them from all social media and refrain from responding to any of their progress.
What If You’re Stuck?
# 6 If you cannot leave them, learn how to handle them. In some cases, you will not be able to let them just fall out of your life. Maybe it’s a family member or a colleague.
If this is the case, help them by developing their empathy. That means not criticizing them. Instead, encourage their compassion and help them to reduce their narcissism. Be aware that this takes lots of energy and patience.
# 7 Be gentle. I know that sounds weird, but act gently and kindly to a narcissist if you’re unable to separate bonds. Keep in mind that narcissists are not necessarily terrible people, as many of them came from a childhood that did not provide support.
Let them feel the importance of relationships through kindness and love. This does not mean, however, that you should not be aware of their manipulative tactics.
# 8 Empathy. Psychologists found this the most successful way to reduce someone’s narcissism. Empathy prompts come in two components: unveiling your emotions and determining the importance of your relationship with them.
Again, that does not mean that you reveal deep secrets, but you say, “You’re important to me,” or “You matter to me,” or “I’m very worried about you.” That gives security.
# 9 Use “We.” They focus heavily on the “I” thoughts and sentences, so it’s time to switch them and use “we” sentences. It helps them to think about relationships. Most essentially, show them your love for them.
# 10 Reward good behavior. I know that sounds a bit like a dog training, but it’s not … well, somehow. Forget it.
Point is, if you focus the attention of a narcissist away from yourself, reward them when they actually do make progress. If they show compassion or concern for the happiness of others, reward them with positive compliments.
# 11 No playoff. There is a masquerade they play, and so far you have followed along. But now it’s time to change the way you do things.
Yes, you can help them. First, make sure you stop playing their game. Help them. Be their friend, but be aware of the tactics they use and make sure you do not resist their charade.
# 12 Do it yourself. Remember, if you want to help someone, put yourself first. It’s easy to lose yourself with the idea of helping someone else.
Remember, they are a narcissist. Yes, help them, but always remember that they are looking for what they can get (suck) from you.
# 13 If it’s an adult narcissist, however, then there is little hope to reduce their narcissism. If this is the case, they need professional therapy. With this, the chances of improvement are still slim.
# 14 When you have exhausted all options, to no avail, you run. I’m terribly sorry to say that.
If, however, you’ve tried everything to help the person overcome his narcissistic tendencies (including therapists), but nothing works, it’s time for you to move on.
It sounds hard, but nothing else will be to your welfare. The narcissist will continue using your feelings for his personal benefits.
Have you had experiences with a narcissist, and do you have some more tips on how to beat a narcissist? If yes, then please leave a comment below. You know we are always looking forward to hearing from you.
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