How to heal your inner child
Why it is important to heal your inner child, and to what extent the inner child also plays an essential role in adulthood, I would like to tell you today. Mainly because I am of the opinion that the liberation of the injured children in us is essential for a self-determined, happy life.
The child who was never allowed to grow
As much as our parents and teachers tried, childhood has left its furrows for most of us. Some people may claim to have had a carefree childhood. But maybe they just don’t want to deal with the injuries in the past or they underestimate the many small dramas that almost every child’s soul has to endure.
I think something happened to almost each of us that was terrible for the little child of the time. Even if we no longer perceive a lot of it as bad today, there is a possibility that the injured child is still at work in us.
The Injured Child – A Story
With this story, I want to show how injured children suffer within us into adulthood.
It rings. The last day of school is coming to an end. Finally summer vacation. Nine-year-old Marie meets her 7-year-old sister Bianca in front of the school. Aunt Elsa picks them up there. Bianca proudly shows her grades to her aunt. She is visibly impressed. All As. Marie stays in the background.
After all, the aunt also wants to see her grades. Arg! A C in writing and mathematics – and that in elementary school! Aunt Elsa shakes her head.
Later they go to the ice cream parlor. The excellent student Bianca can choose three ice cream scoops. When it is Marie’s turn, the aunt shakes her head again. Finally she gets an empty ice cream cone, no ice cream in sight. That’s the way it always goes in Marie’s life: “If you don’t make an effort, you won’t get anything”.
The inner child does not feel loved
At first glance, it may sound like a funny story that describes a principle of life. If you take a closer look, however, there is the following to consider: Marie does not question her aunt’s behavior. At the same time, however, she knows that she has made an effort. She gave everything and still wasn’t good enough.
Translated into children’s thoughts and feelings, this means “I gave everything and still get no love and recognition.” Or, in fact, she did not make an effort and thinks: “I did not give everything. So I am only loved when I make an effort. Because of myself nobody likes me ”.
The little sister, however stands all the while in front of her with the full load of recognition in the form of three scoops of ice cream and grins, also without malicious intent, while Marie does not even get a small hug for consolation.
The injured child affects our life
Marie’s inner child just stayed nine years old in this scene. Every time she feels exposed to a similar situation in her teenage or adulthood, the injury from then rises up again.
When Marie’s husband speaks appreciatively of his colleague who does her job with ease and in a highly professional manner, Marie catches her breath. Suddenly she feels not well enough and unloved. She reacts without reflection, like the 9-year-old child from back then. Or how the 9-year-old would have liked to react. She fights back tears, throws at her husband that he does not love her or leaves the room deeply hurt.
The explanation for the fictional behavior of Marie can be justified with the fact that the 9-year-old never grew up in terms of recognition in terms of achievement and her intellect.
And how could it be otherwise? We live on love and recognition. And if we don’t get it, we can’t grow. So, figuratively speaking, little Marie is still standing in front of the ice cream shop and only wants one thing: to finally be loved and accepted so that she too can grow.
Finally take the inner child in your arms
But how are we supposed to make sure that the little Maries’ in us finally grow up 30 years later?
There are different methods for doing this. You can use some of them yourself. However, if the memories are highly traumatic experiences, you should seek professional support. (Psychotherapy)
The following method can be used by anyone who is comfortable with the process at their own discretion.
What events in your childhood that you found negative or bad come to mind. Please do not go on a great search for this. It’s not about trying to find something negative. Therefore, only write down spontaneous memories that creep into your thoughts again and again.
Let the first memory arise in your mind’s eye. Observe from the outside how the child is doing. Even if the trigger for the negative feelings was just an ice cream or a bad grade. The little one was still pretty hurt.
Ask yourself what it would have taken the little child back then to make it feel better. Maybe a hug? A few loving words? The feeling of security? To know that it will always be loved? Someone who protects it – who listens to it – who stands behind it?
And now, years later, in your imagination you have the opportunity to give the child from back then exactly what it would have needed. Take the little one in your arms. Whisper to her how much you love her or tell her how great you think she is.
Ideally, you will repeat this exercise until the small child in you actually feels so loved that it can grow again. For example, once a week for the next two to three months.
The child in me – my statement
Over the past few years I have met with the children who have remained small in me in a variety of ways. I still enjoy doing the above exercise to this day. But it is also suitable as a supplement to other methods.
At first I found the exercise difficult, which is probably due to the fact that we instinctively prefer to avoid unpleasant feelings. Today, however, I know about the power of love and, therefore, also trust in its positive effects with my inner child.
I hope this article gives you some more insight on the importance of healing your inner child in order to live a happy and fulfilled life. If you need any help with the elimination of negative thought patterns or want to learn more about how to rewire your mind lastingly and successfully in a natural way, then contact me. Together we will figure out your individual needs to get you on the right path to healing, abundance and happiness.
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